There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
So I went on a date with this girl...and whos our waitress? My girlfriend got a second job she didn't tell me about to afford my bday present.
If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
i remember you telling me to take a shower, brush my teeth, go get back in bed w her, and "just do what i was born to do." and as soon as i stopped yacking i did just that. you saved my birthday.
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
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