ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
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