i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
I don't have any food so I made a martini so I could eat the olives. Don't tell me I can't think outside the box.
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
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