How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
A university police officer just hhigh fived me when i drunkenly stumbled into Aderhold. Fucking 5 o'clock somewhere.ITS IN CASABLANCA RIGHT NOW! TIME ZONES!
I queefed so loud it echoed.
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
My dad just asked Siri to "help me find my daughters dignity."
If you were my daughter, I'd do the same thing.
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
She's not a foreskin expert like you
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
He did a backflip because drugs
Randomize
