bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
Found the puke drawer
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
Randomize
