I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
Oh I had the weirdest dream in which I was an archeologist stealing a golden dildo from a snobby British person
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