how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
just because you dressed up as a brontosaurus doesn't mean you can poop in my yard and roar at my neighbors
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
don't judge my taste in strippers
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
Randomize
