i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
Hooked up with an ex Playgirl model. I feel like the universe just high-fived me for staying sober.
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
So this morning when I woke up. I found my refrigerator open and no more food. It was empty, I'm home alone for the week. Where in hell did that food go?
Randomize
