So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
Randomize
