I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like having to pee in a condom for my cousin so that he can pass a drug test.
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
He tried to fight me not realizing that I work as a bouncer in the the same bar we were in. His night ended with him in handcuffs, missing teeth, PLUS I got his shots that he ordered since he didn't get to drink them.
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
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