bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
Wedding cake is always the best dance partner. In the corner. With a jack and coke. And while I'm crying. Listening to "Almost Paradise".
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
So then you challenged the bartender to an arm wrestling contest for a free bottle of vodka
Sweet. Did I win?
Youre hungover arent you?
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
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