I hope mine doesn't look like that
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
I woke up on the steps beside a plate of spaghetti and a toilet paper roll ripped in half. And i actually think this day is gonna get better.
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
I'm texting you from across the beer pong table to tell you that the drunk chick you brought over needs to disappear. like now.
HE HAS A FUCKING TWIN. HE HAS A TWIN. I'M NOT DRUNK THERE IS TWO OF THEM.
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
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