Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
Sometimes he's such a bitch I forget that he's not actually a girl. Last night I asked him if I could borrow a tampon.
He had some in his pocket. That was weird.
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
Remember when we used to go to the bathroom to do drugs together? Now it's to help you with your spanx.
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
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