I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
Watching elf, eating a tub of ice cream, and coming to terms with the fact that I haven't had sex in 5 months. Happy fucking holidays.
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
He caught me shoving meatballs into my mouth using my hand. Fuck utensils. It’s Christmas...and this is why I’m single.
They are good meatballs.
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
Randomize
