I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
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