weddingsv make me drug and hornr
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
The real estate's complaint had the words "loud squealing at 2am" in it. Then I remembered that was me spoon feeding you guys old potato salad while you screeched like baby birds. Great night.
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
Good news!! I can adult!! 😂 turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement ðŸ˜ðŸ˜‚
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
Yoooooo, the fat magician married the chick I dumped a beer on after I got pissed he was flirting with her in front of me
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