Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
I know you think I'm being paranoid, but can you please make sure Danny doesn't rub my wedding invitation on his balls?
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
The bachelorette party was all fun and games until the strippers came. AKA you guys.
I apologize for chief "dances with dolphins" sucking on your friends foot
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
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