i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
My mom's mothers day present consisted of a card, chocolate and the rose bush I threw up in as I was getting in last night. She loved it.
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Randomize
