We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
im typing and i feel like my hands are on backwards.
Stop texting me, I'm right here.
Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
Randomize
