operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
The fool I made of myself at the Ugly Christmas Sweater party last night was surpassed this morning when I walk of shamed 6 miles at 7am with one mysterious wet leg and no pants on. I think my mom saw me and waved.
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
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