Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
Thank you for deleting me from Instagram. Also, I'm carrying your child. Happy new year!
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
one of my coworkers asked me if I was PMSing today...... excuse me sir, but it is none of your business as to what my uterus is or is not doing right now. fucker.
and yea, I'm PMSing.
Randomize