Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
Randomize
