My mom was talking about how protein is essential to strong bones and then I told her, I'll give you protein.
How unfortunate for your Mom.
As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
Randomize
