i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
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