i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
Randomize
