I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
i thought to myself 'what a productive day'. then i realized all ive done is one load of laundry and shaved my balls.
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
I know her cup size but not her name....
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