Just fell off a train. Bad.
Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
I tried really hard to get you laid last night. And by that I mean I asked a bunch of dudes if they were top or bottom.
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
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