Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
Randomize
