I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
We got security called on us. Apparently the wedding down the street didn't appreciate the trespassing or our loud as fuck rendition of We Are Young.
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
Someone is giving away free yogurt on craigslist. Can I get a ride?
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
Randomize
