Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
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