you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
Please sleep at your girlfriend's tonight
Why?
'Cause I wanna jack off tonight.. And you being in the room makes things awkward
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
I hate when people see you passed out in your front yard and call 911. Like what, you can't take a nap face down on your steps at 4pm?
Found her with a stray dog now called champagne, crying about how she feels a mom now. Had to take her home. The dog too.
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
I woke up to you singing What Makes You Beautiful and trying to blend an avocado with vodka.
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
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