I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
