i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
A lesson I learned in the hospital....when you masturbate while attached to a heart monitor, it scares the nurses a lot.
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
I rang in the new year by giving a lap dance to a Lutheran minister in a roomful of people including his wife. Jesus would be proud.
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
Randomize
