The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
Randomize
