we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
Got a blowie from her in the cab on the way home. Made awkward eye contact with the cabbie who said, and I quote "Keep the mess in her mouth bro", I did so only out of respect
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
Randomize
