so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
My birth control alarm gets more depressing every night.
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
Randomize
