he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
That's what you get for drunk dialing me to ask what kind of flowers I like while outside of a strip club, after telling me you "made it rain"
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
I wanted sex but got Ace Ventura: Pet Detective, instead. Then I had to drive 30 minutes home wet. Worst booty call, ever.
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
I need to wash the frat house off of me
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
Randomize