My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
Randomize
