Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
I woke up this morning covered in blood and peanut butter. I am now safe from vampires with nut allergies.
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
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