Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
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