There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
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