would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
