i'm 85% sure that if you don't visit me i will do something awkward and potentially dangerous to you in your sleep involving chocolate milk and a sham-wow.
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Randomize
