Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
I can't be 100% sure of this but I think tonight was the first time I told a middle aged woman holding a baby to go fuck herself
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
Worst date ever. Bro she asked when we can start having kids because her clock was ticking.
Run dude. Just run
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
Randomize
