Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
Randomize
