Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
I got 87 likes on my changed relationship status. It's official. I'm way more fucking awesome single.
They're mostly guys
Early bird gets the worm.
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
We will go to karaoke
Okay, well, i'm covered in paint, haven't showered & have already been drinking, so if I fall on the floor in a blaze of depeche mode & beer tears, you can't pretend you don't know me
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
Randomize
