A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
So he ended up having sex with me, but it was so awkward. When it was over, he went to the bathroom, and he came back and asked, "are you on your period or something? there's blood on my dick..." and i said, "well it was supposed to start today, nice surprise...i am so embarrassed." and he said ,"it's better than you queefing." and as soon as he said that, i queef the hardest and loudest i ever had.
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
What can I say, I bounce back quick. Never thought the line "my turtle died" would get me so many free drinks last night
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
You didn't try to help me when I fell on the dance floor. She brought me cupcakes. You're a shitty friend, suck your own dick.
I wish I had a Tina from Bob's Burgers in real life. She would be the best wingman.
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