She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
Randomize
