The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
Apparently, banging my bartender ex-girlfriend = free drinks again. Not every bad decision is a wrong decision.
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
he's gonorrhea incarnate
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
Is there a non-awkward way to tell a girl I work with that she looks just like my favourite pornstar?
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
Randomize
