ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
She woke me up with an urgent call telling me she was rolling on Mollie and swimming in the ocean. I mean that's just great. If she drowns, I'll feel responsible.
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
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