i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
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