All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
Why are you speaking in third person?
Because I'm so hungover that I don't even want to be myself anymore.
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
Drunk texting is the poetry of my life
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
