It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
Just stabbed myself in the face trying to lick melted cheese off a kitchen knife.
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
Chasing shots with sriracha-covered mini toast was, in retrospect, not the best idea.
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
He did a backflip because drugs
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