We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
It's 1 AM and there's a guy outside my house belting out Bennie and The Jets. He stops in between verses to puke. I'm joining him.
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
I didn't have cash to pay cover at the bar, so I traded the bouncer a Krispy Kreme doughnut i had in my purse
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
The couple in the apartment next to mine are both opera singers. I’m never sure if I’m hearing them banging or doing vocal warm-ups.
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