The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
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