PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
Randomize
