I am apparently in rockville maryland. I just threw up my tater tots I had fro brunch in a safeway parking lot. Then ordered a pizza. Pepperoni and pineapple. I'm sitting in the parking lot, next to my barf, waiting for my pizza. WOOF. Someone just gave me an oxycontin tab. Can u come get me? I'm scared
can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
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