I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
im like that movie w. ryan reynolds, no ones ever going to date me unless they're forced to marry me.
In the airport and just saw a little boy put his head in his mother's crotch... I guess he took a whiff because he backed up and said loudly, "mommy your pee-pee is stinky!"
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
I really thought I'd be the only alcoholic drinking alone in my car at noon in the Lowe's parking lot. Passed out dude in the car next to me begs to differ.
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
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