He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
You know you're hung over when the glare from the cream cheese on your bagel is just too bright...
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize
