ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
You know you're drunk when you're apologizing for your asshole at 4am to the toilet. Eat shit habanero bbq sauce, you've ruined my life.
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
Randomize
