Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
When I'm famous, she'll look at her kids and go "I saw her buttcheeks beefore she was famous. I'm truly blessed."
Did you put pizza in my boxers last night?
I left you 4 hours ago. Have you been walking around with shit in your pants all day?
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
Randomize
