Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
If you're receiving this text it's probably because I drunkenly flashed you on Saturday. Sorry for forcing you to look at my tits. That was uncalled for.
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
Randomize
