Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(943): View more from

You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka

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(770): View more from Georgia

A university police officer just hhigh fived me when i drunkenly stumbled into Aderhold. Fucking 5 o'clock somewhere.ITS IN CASABLANCA RIGHT NOW! TIME ZONES!

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(224): View more from Illinois

I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.

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(518): View more from New York

i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you

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(904): View more from Florida

This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.

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(571): View more from Virginia

I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.

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(270): View more from Kentucky

Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.

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(724): View more from Pennsylvania

I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back

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(909): View more from California

I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.

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