That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy.
only room for one pussy in that bed.
he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
Randomize
