Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
This is a crisis. I had a huge crush on him in seventh grade and now his girlfriend is due to have his child on my birthday. HIS CHILD CAN'T BE BORN ON MY BIRTHDAY.
Randomize
