if i'm ever as drunk as the girl in front of me... kill me.
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
Randomize
