Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
you closed your eyes and pointed to a cupboard..there was vodka on the top shelf. your sixth sense is amazing. plus, we convinced the foreign kid you're a booze whisperer
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
Randomize
