you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
That isn't the worst part. It got a bazillion times more awkward when he read me a poem he wrote about his dead cat.
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
Randomize
