i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
no today was horrible, i woke up and somebody slit my car tire and left an apology letter in my wiper that said "sorry wrong house"
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
I just got high and swiffered the bathroom floor....2 for 2 on brilliant life ideas
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
Randomize
