Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
Randomize
