I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
We tried to make a sex tape, but we were hammered and she forgot to take the cap off the camera. Somebody starts snoring 10 minutes in.
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
Randomize
