We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
She keeps comparing me to her favorite dildo and I don’t know if I’m flattered or creeped out
Randomize
