Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
I was scoping hash out of our weed jar with a spoon and I realized we need to buy actual utensils. This plastic shit is killing me I've broke 3 spoons
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
the bright side of moving is at least my Tinder options will refresh
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
Randomize
