is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
you're like a bully in the Christmas story
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
I think I just accidentally agreed to become a surrogate for a gay couple
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
Randomize
