how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
I'm surprised, it's been so long you must be starving
At a certain point, the zombie-like hunger goes away. Then the sadness sets in. Then you start lying to yourself that you're taking some "me time." Then you remember you dodged chlamydia and Buddha knows what else. Then you're at peace with it.
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
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