just survived the first fart of the relationship.
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
I'm slightly possesive over the gucamole when i'm stoned.
Is that why you left peanut shells in my bed?
my revenge plans when i'm high are never as good as i think they are
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
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