she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
no more duck duck goose at the bar
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
Dude, I checked into a cathedral... I thought it was a joke, until I found a candle and a whole bunch of coins in my purse
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
Randomize
