Having a random hookup so left but love u
"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
my poor anus
He said "send me a motivational picture" so I sent one with mayo on my face that said "clearly I'm no stranger to white stuff on my face"...I'm the fuckingng worst
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
Randomize