U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
Randomize
